The subtitle of this book is "Consequences that Teach," and there is so much I like about that.
There is no doubt that I am a bigger supporter of consequence systems that reward ones. I don't believe kids should be rewarded for expected behavior. Now, if they're learning something new, rewards are useful in the short-term.
And I like consequences that are logical. That's what this book is about. It talks about natural consequences some...those results of your actions that just happen. But focuses on logical consequences as implemented by a parent or caregiver. Consequences that fit the misdeed. Consequences that make sense with the offense and aren't just random.
The majority of the book is very practical as well. It lists behaviors and several logical consequences that could be implemented. I like that it gives more than one option because if there's one thing I've learned with just two kids is that not everything (okay, almost nothing) works for both of them. They are completely different little personalities with motivations to match.
Now, sometimes I thought the consequence's suggested length was too short, especially for ongoing behavior issues. Still, I feel the book was a good resource and got my wheels turning about what would work with the girls.
I might check this out. I like to hear different ideas on consequences that may/do work. Though it's a tough thing to do, it's a necessary part of parenting. My daughter is odd in that a consequence that works on her one month won't bother her the next. I'm constantly rotating consequences & rewards to keep her on her toes & to keep things interesting (for rewards anyhow).
ReplyDeleteI agree that it seems that many people are of the opinion that consequences should be rather short. I know for a fact that at least my child is unaffected by "suggested" times for certain consequences. In fact, she's ready for a fight still if you pull her off too early. I can usually tell from the sound of her when she's ready/broken (I know, it's a harsh word, but that's really what you're going for).